Light
by fuzzydream
Summary: He remembers how Downton once held an opportunity for him to live his life the right way - his chance to have a good job and to be away from London. But Downton became much more than that.


**A/N:** Totally indulging myself with this one - I figured everybody needs a little fluff every now and then, and this is incredibly fluffy. I may be tempted to write something more in this little universe (let us hope this is the future for them) if you like it - but only if you like it! Let me know your thoughts. Thanks Terrie for the awesome editing! :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Downton Abbey.

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><p><em>Light<em> by _fuzzydream_

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><p>The cottage is terribly quiet when he arrives, his steps cautious but steady. It's a warm day, and the air inside their home feels rather damp, though all the windows are open. He vaguely wonders if Anna went out, but she would have told him if that was in her plans. At any rate, the pram located just near the entrance is enough for him to know that she is indeed home, and it takes him about two minutes to find her outside, though he hears her voice before he sees her, and he can't help but smile at her singing.<p>

Anna had never been one for singing, really, yet that's what she does the most nowadays. He does his fair share of it himself, really, when he gets home and gives her a break. Perhaps because they would talk to the baby a lot during pregnancy, it seems now that their little Louisa is quite fond of both their voices.

And indeed, as he looks out to the little garden at the back of the cottage, he sees Anna by the clothesline, the sun brightening her hair even more so. She has spread out a blanket on the grass, and Louisa looks rather content there in the shade, her alert little eyes looking for her mother and her chubby arms flailing about. She's rather active, in fact, and John is sure they will have some trouble with her when she starts crawling. And judging by the way she's kicking her little legs, he wonder if she'll find herself fit for that sooner than they think.

He steps outside just as Anna is finishing the lullaby, and she turns around at the sound of his cane, stopping her task immediately to flash him a smile.

"You're home already," she says, clearly surprised. "I haven't even made tea yet, I thought you'd stop by later."

He shakes his head, reaching her fairly quickly. "Don't worry. I can get it started. I had some spare time so I thought I'd come home for a bit longer."

"You won't hear me complaining," she smiles, dropping the cloth she has been holding into the basket, only to pull him close so their lips meet in a soft kiss.

Before long, a soft, familiar squeal reaches his ears, and Anna giggles into his kiss, pulling away at the same moment.

"I think someone is jealous," she teases, and he can't help but let out a chuckle when babbling followed the squeal.

"We can't have that, can we?" he says, winking slightly at her, and he knows she is shaking her head at him, but he can't help it.

His world revolves around two people, and he knows he's absolutely lost for them – yet, he has never been happier.

John reaches Louisa soon enough, and she's still babbling away, clearly excited to see him. He cringes just slightly at having to lean down to get her, but the pain lasts only a second – it is soothed by her weight in his arms.

"Hello, my darling," he says, her blue eyes staring at him. Her hair may be dark, but he sees only Anna when he looks at their daughter. "Are you having a pleasant day? Are you being good for Mummy?"

Louisa answers by placing both chubby hands against his cheeks.

"She is, but she has yet to take her afternoon nap," Anna says as she takes the last shirt offthe clothesline. "Maybe it's the weather. I'd have thought the heat would have tired her more, though. She doesn't feel warm, does she?"

"No," John answers, settling Louisa against his chest as he walks with Anna back to the kitchen. The baby seems perfectly happy in his arms, though he can see just a little bit of sweat around her temples, which is rather expected. He still finds it rather endearing, as he does everything about their baby girl. "I dare say she is rather comfortable."

"I'll say. She has already surprised me twice today," Anna's tone leaves no question as to what kind of surprise Louisa gave her. John chuckles, nonetheless, and receives a pointed look because of that. He rests his cane against the wall and begins filling the kettle. "Mrs Hughes stopped by earlier, just when I was feeding Louisa. Maybe that's what's got her so excited. I just hope it won't affect her sleep tonight so much."

"Maybe it will and she'll sleep through the night," he offers as Anna takes over the task of making tea. "Anna. I can manage."

"I know you can," she defends herself quickly, wiping her hands on her apron and putting the kettle on the stove. "But I know you chastise yourself for not spending enough time with her, and she'll be hungry soon. Just sit and hold her, John. You work enough as it is."

"Not as much as you do," he says, and he means it. Ever since Louisa was born, it seems as if Anna's chores doubled up, especially laundry, and now she has to care for the baby all day too. It's not often that he can come home more than once a day, and he cherishes these moments. He sits in his usual chair and Louisa is apparently very interested in his pocket watch, but he quickly hides it away in his pocket before she can pull it. "Please, Anna. Sit with us."

"Oh, all right," she acquiesces, sitting right next to him, then reaching out to smooth Louisa's hair. "She's all sweaty, the poor darling. Aren't you, baby?" she asks in an exaggerated tone, and the baby lets out a giggle; Anna returns it, and looks at him. "She's been in such a good mood today."

"I'm sure she is. She didn't seem to get your usual morning grumpiness," he teases, and grins when Anna shoots him another pointed look, even though a smile is still on her face. He looks down at Louisa, who is now transfixed by her mother, watching her every movement. "She's all smiles lately, thank god. I'm only sorry I can't see them more often."

He doesn't like to think of it often, but it's hard not to. As it is, he only seems to see his daughter early in the morning or late at night. He is thankful that her own little routine keeps her awake during that time, but he doesn't know for how long. He doesn't know her like Anna does – he knows of her routine, but it is Anna who spends her day entertaining her and making sure she's clean and fed. He tries to help as much as he can when he's home, but they have been graced with an easy baby, as Louisa wakes up a two or three times during the night to have her feeding and that's something only Anna can do.

"John, don't worry about that. She smiles much more when you're around," Anna says, but he isn't entirely convinced it is the truth. Louisa's gummy smiles bring sunshine into his nights, every day. "Have you spoken to Lord Grantham?"

The whistling of the kettle kept him from answering, as Anna stood up to get it. He is convinced that she's working too much. He knows for a fact that she's just almost as thin as she was before getting pregnant, and she never really got back to what she was, before... everything. She seems content with life, however, as the baby keeps her occupied, and she says she doesn't miss working at the Abbey, because Louisa doesn't give her time to think about it. But the change in their routine, not seeing each other as much as they have been used to, quite affected their relationship too. Though they talk of their days, it's not the same as working side by side, and he misses seeing her more often, even though she has been home for just about four months now, since before Louisa was born.

"John?" Anna asks again as she prepares his tea. Louisa lets out a tiny whimper on his lap, not quite a cry yet, but it makes Anna turn instantly. "Just a second, darling."

Anna's voice seems to settle her for just a moment, and John bounces her a little. There are no tears in her eyes, but she is clearly unhappy. "Now, I know I'm not as lovely as Mummy is, but I can't be that bad."

Anna laughs at his comment, placing his cup of tea in front of him, and motions to go prepare her own before he stops her. The baby whimpers again. "Take Louisa, I'll prepare you a cup."

Anna smiles gratefully, taking the baby from him. He stands up.

"We're spoiling her. She doesn't even cry and gets what she wants," Anna comments, but he can't seem to mind.

"If it was up to me, she would never cry. Not once," he says, adding a spoonful of sugar to Anna's tea, knowing she likes it extra sweet. When he turns, his little girl is already at her mother's breast, and Anna takes it with practiced ease now, after three months, however difficult it was at first. "Here."

"Thank you," she smiles, patting the baby's back affectionately as she suckles. "So, did you speak to His Lordship?"

He takes a sip of his tea. "Not yet. I'll talk to him tonight, before I dress him for bed. I think it will be for the best. Give him some time to take in the news."

Anna nods. "Of course. He'll need it. We know he doesn't like changes."

"Not more than Mr Carson," John arches his eyebrows. "I'm afraid it'll be a bit of a shock to him as well."

Anna sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Will it, though?" she says. "I left a few months ago. They can't think we'll both just stay here forever. Though, I was several months pregnant and Lady Mary still didn't like it when I gave her my notice."

"She wouldn't. You have been together for too long," he says with a smile.

Anna smiles back. "That's true. But I have my own little lady to care for now," she runs a finger over Louisa's cheek. "They're quite similar, in some ways. They both get awfully grumpy when they're bored."

She meets his eye then, and in the next second they both burst out laughing. He doubts she can compare Louisa to Lady Mary in many more situations, but this is the one thing he can agree with. And looking at Anna now, so carefree and happy in this new situation, he is sure that at least by giving her Louisa he brought her quite a bit of light – even if he considered their baby a miracle on her own.

Unfortunately, the clock ticks on, and time doesn't stop, no matter how much he wishes this scene could be registered forever. He drinks the rest of his tea in a bit of hurry, and stands up soon, before Louisa is even finished with her feeding.

"I'll lock the door on my way out," he tells Anna, leaning down to give Louisa a kiss. "Louisa, darling, no more surprises for Mummy today."

Anna giggles when the baby merely rolls her eyes, not really registering her father's words.

"Will you come for dinner?" Anna say, looking up at him.

"Probably not," he admits sadly. "His Lordship might retire early, though. We'll see how tonight goes."

"Good luck, love," Anna says, and he leans down to catch her lips in a kiss.

"Thank you, my darling," he says, winking his eye slightly and Anna's giggle is the last thing he listens as he leaves home.

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><p>The day has been oddly slow for John, but the tension leaves his shoulders the moment he closes the door behind him. The night is much more pleasant than the day has been, but he is glad to be home and very glad that it isn't very late either. As it is rather dark downstairs, he quickly decides to go straight to the bedroom, which is indeed the only lit up room in the house. It's still silent as he reaches the landing, and he walks to the door, Anna's eyes meeting his immediately - no doubt she heard his cane upon walking.<p>

She's lying in bed, on her stomach, with Louisa in front of her, propped up on a bunch of pillows. The sight warms his heart, as their baby daughter looks at him with wide eyes - still up to mischief, it seems, and his wife is no better, judging by the grin on her face.

"I thought it was you I heard," Anna says, then looks at Louisa, who is now wearing a comfortable yellow romper and looks ready to go to bed, except it may not be such an easy thing to accomplish. "We were just talking about you, weren't we, baby?"

Louisa kicks her legs excitedly at her mother's tone and John enters the room fully, taking off his jacket.

"Nothing bad, I hope," he says as he kisses Anna and softly strokes Louisa's hair.

"Never," Anna grins, catching Louisa's tiny foot and tickling it, causing the baby to erupt in giggles. "We were just talking of all the great adventures you'll take us to in the next few weeks. Of the beach and the sea - but that's a bit too much for this young Miss Bates, of course."

Louisa is smiling as Anna speaks, looking entirely too alert for someone who should be sleeping soon, but he can't bring himself to care. He unbuttons his waistcoat slowly, and Anna sits up in bed, taking Louisa with her and holding the baby close. Louisa's curls are already tickling Anna's cheek - she may be only three months old, but she is growing up too fast.

"Perhaps, for now," he smiles. "But for Mrs Bates, it isn't too much at all."

They share a smile, and her eyes are so full of love and happiness that he feels as if his heart could burst out of his chest. He leaves them then to take a quick bath, and hopes his daughter will still be awake when he's finished. It still feels like it was just yesterday that Anna gave birth, and he still remembers so vividly the night she told him they would have a baby. And for months they wished and hoped and longed for the baby, and he feels that despite all the tribulations - the difficult birth, the helplessness they both felt during the pregnancy and the surprises and trials that came with being first time parents - he can see Anna is happier every day. And that alone makes it all worth it.

He only takes a few minutes in the washroom, and he is dressed in his nightclothes when he enters the bedroom again, now to find his girls back in the routine he is used to; Louisa usually has her evening feeding before bed and that seems to be the case now.

"Did she take her nap after I left this afternoon?" John asks with a smile.

"She did, but she didn't sleep as much as usual," Anna sighs. "I really hope this means she'll sleep through the night, but I know that's unlikely."

He shrugs as he joins her in bed. "You never know. She may have taken after you."

"Oh, hush," Anna says, but she's smiling. A sigh escapes her lips. "I'm exhausted. Usually when she naps I take advantage and work but I couldn't today. I fell asleep just after she did."

Anna lets out a laugh at her own confession, and he chuckles too. It's only natural that she feels like that - his wife is such a doting mother that she doesn't seem to rest when Louisa is awake, always looking for ways to entertain the baby, and it's a good thing Louisa has been recently discovering the joys that every smile and giggle mean to her parents. She is the baby they have been dreaming of for so long, the missing piece to make their family complete, and he is quite sure Anna was no different as a child - charming and happy.

"She's fattening up quickly," he says as the baby catches his finger in her fist.

It's an understatement, really - Louisa was a relatively big baby when she was born, and she still manages to grow up steadily every week, much to their happiness.

Anna chuckles. "She is. She takes after you with this appetite."

They sit quietly for a moment, enjoying what is now a daily occurrence, to watch their baby. Louisa's eyes are dropping slowly now, and he thinks she will indeed be asleep soon. The feeding usually does the trick. Anna turns her gaze to him, but he is still mesmerised by the life they created together.

"How did it go, tonight?" Anna finally asks, and his eyes meet hers.

"As expected," he says quietly. "His Lordship was by no means happy. But he says he understands."

"Well, that's all right," Anna tilts her head and shrugs. "And Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes?"

"I think Mr Carson is still in shock and already thinking of the interviews he'll have to do. I'm afraid he has forgotten Mr Molesley's experience," John shakes his head slowly.

Anna lets out a giggle. "Poor Mr Molesley. Mrs Hughes will be sure to remind Mr Carson of that. And what did she… Louisa," Anna cringes for a moment. The baby looks up wearily at her, already familiar with the tone. "Don't hurt Mummy like this," her voice softens. "Slowly, now. That's it."

Louisa lets go of his finger and seems a little more patient with her meal now. He smiles at Anna.

"Mrs Hughes was sad, but only to see us go. I had to tell her of our plans, of course, but I'm sure she'll come by soon to discuss it properly with you," John says, and he sees a flicker of sadness cross her features. "Scarborough isn't that far away. She'll be able to visit us."

"I know. I'm so happy that we're going. Even though I would love to stay here near our friends," she sighs. "It's time."

"Better late than never, I suppose," he says, and he tries not to think of what could have been if they made the decision of leaving sooner.

"It's not late. I think it's just the right time," Anna says softly, looking down at the baby again. "This was our first home and Louisa was born here. We have so many happy memories, and I'd love to remember this place as it is. But we might need more space for her, and she'll want to see her daddy more often, I'm sure."

At this, he smiles. She's right, of course. And it makes him happy - so, _so_ happy - that Anna is able to face the past without thinking of the dark times so much. It'll always be there, they both know it, but lately the good memories are easier to seek.

"Are you quite done, Louisa?" Anna asks as Louisa lets go of her. Her eyes are rather sleepy and Anna cleans her face with a cloth quickly.

"I'll take her now," John says, and Anna passes him the baby - their most precious cargo.

Her warmth fills his chest and she rests her head against his shoulder. He doesn't like not being there to help Anna during the day, and it is rather silly that this moment, when he is able to put Louisa to sleep, is the most he spends with his daughter. Still, as Anna says, it's better than nothing. Many fathers don't feel the way he feels about children.

And it will change, soon enough. With the selling of his mother's house last year and the purchase of a small hotel in Scarborough a few weeks ago, they are now settled and ready to start a new business. The only reason why this was postponed yet again was because of the baby, and how hard it would have been to move with Anna in the last weeks of pregnancy. She was the one to suggest they go now. He'll have to stay on a little more but they shouldn't be away from the hotel for long. He is looking forward to yet a new start in his life - and he thinks it is the best to come.

Anna adjusts her chemise and sighs, leaning against the pillows and watching him. She runs her fingers through his hair lazily.

"Are you all right, with everything?" she asks. "With us going away and leaving Downton?"

He thinks for a moment. He remembers how Downton once held an opportunity for him to live his life the right way - his chance to have a good job and to be away from London. But Downton became much more than that - Downton presented him with Anna, and the wonderful life she has shared with him, however stained by shadows it was for a while. But now Downton feels like a brake to them, keeping them from living the life they should be living - the life Louisa should have. Downton has done its part in his life now.

"I'll be sad to leave, but I'm happier to be going," he finally says, then cringes slightly. "Does that make sense?"

Anna smiles. "It does," she reaches to softly stroke Louisa's back. "You are quite settled there with Daddy, aren't you, my angel?" she says quietly, mindful of the nearly asleep baby in his arms.

John snickers, and this causes Anna to frown.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking," he says, "how you still refer to me as Mr Bates to other people, even though you're not a servant anymore. And here, I'm John and Daddy."

"It is rather fitting," Anna smirks, getting closer to him. "Isn't it, Mr Bates?"

He chuckles, but she interrupts him by kissing his lips fully, and not so innocently either. They have recently resumed their marital relations after the birth of Louisa. While Anna was a little insecure at first, he was quick to wipe her doubts away. She looks beautiful - more than ever now, being the mother she was always meant to be, giving him the most precious gift he has ever received.

"Is she asleep?" his wife whispers.

He turns to look at Louisa, who is indeed with her eyes close and her tiny breaths hitting his neck. She really takes after her mother. He nods at Anna.

"I'll put her in her cot," he says, and Anna says goodnight to her daughter with a kiss on her hair, albeit knowing she will most likely have to wake up and see to her in the middle of the night again. He is careful not to disturb her, putting her in the crib just next to Anna's side of the bed - a tight fit, unfortunately, but the house they will be living in the future has bigger rooms and he is glad for it. Louisa doesn't even stir, her hands turning into fists and her expression is a peaceful one. Their beautiful little girl. "Goodnight, my darling."

With one last look at the baby, he walks back to bed.

"Come on," Anna says with a teasing smile. "I rather like to have some time with you by myself, you know."

"Do you, really?" he asks, climbing into bed. His hands find her waist and bring her close to him. She's still smiling. "No need to get jealous," he jokes, and Anna giggles.

"I'm willing to share with her," Anna admits before kissing him.

They were once surrounded by darkness, but they're enfolded in light now.


End file.
